


An Ashen Pizza Date

by AradialSymmetry



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Ashen Romance | Auspistice, Beforus, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2018-03-05 01:09:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3099359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AradialSymmetry/pseuds/AradialSymmetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding that Latula and Aranea are bickering with each other online, Meulin finds herself with some ashen feelings towards her friends. So she decides to invite them out on a date for pizza and mediation - but managing to successfully auspistice between them turns out to be harder than expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anachronologist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anachronologist/gifts).



> This is for a prompt about an ashen first date (with no specific characters specified). I felt like writing dancestors, and thought it would be fun to think about black romance in their less-violent society, so I decided to go with my three favorite alpha trolls. In general I was picturing them as about the age they're depicted in canon but still on Beforus. Anyway I hope this fits with what you were hoping for!

Meulin bounded into her room with a giggle, reaching down to scratch her lusus behind the ears before plopping down on her large cat-shaped beanbag chair. She pulled out her Cattop computer and turned it on. As the administrator of a large fanfic archive she had to stay on top of what was going on with her site! 

She purred happily as she scrolled through her activity feed, seeing the comments and kudos that had been left on her latest masterpiece, "IN WHICH PURRLOCK AND THE DOCTOR FIGHT CRIME TOGEFUR AS MATESPURRITS!!!!!". But soon Meulin's expression turned to a scowl as she scrolled farther down. Were those two fighting _again_? Normally she would have ignored her friends' spats, but she'd appointed both of them as moderators and it was starting to grate on her seeing them snipe at each other on the public forums. She sighed and clicked over to see what they were arguing about this time. 

gamerChick commented on _A Deconstruction of Troll Black Widow's Autonomy in the "Captain Beforus" Movies_ by  altruisticGrandiloquence:   
zzzzzzzzz bor1ng. 1 dont s33 why th1s l4m3zor stuff 3v3n b3longs on 4 f4nf1c s1t3. your3 just t4k1ng 4 h3ll4 r4d mov13 4nd b4bbl1ng on 4bout dumb stuff!!!! y444444444444wn.

Meulin hissed at her screen loudly enough to cause her lusus to stir a bit. God, why did these two have to argue about this so much? Part of the reason Meulin had wanted both of them as moderators was because they liked reading and writing such different things. Couldn't they just do that and not whine about each other? She grumbled and clicked onto the next comment. 

altruisticGrandiloquence commented on chapter 41 of _Th3 L3g3nd of Z3ld4: 4 R4dgrl's Qu3st_ by  gamerChick:    
Ughhhhhhhh I cannot 8elieve you keep 8arfing out this drivel! This sort of shameless self-insertion would put Troll Mary Sue to shame. Such vapid writing could not possi8ly 8e of interest to anyone 8ut a self-o8sessed author engaging in shameless glo8e-fondling fantasies. May8e someday you could exhi8it a 8it of critical thought towards this insipid video game series you cling to so desper8ly... 

Meulin's eyes glazed over at that point. She scrolled down and groaned loudly upon finding that Aranea's comment went on and on and _on_. What was up with those two, anyway? They'd never been _friends_ , per se, but they'd at least tolerated each other in the past. At worst they'd exchanged backhanded compliments or wondered aloud how the other could be interested in the things that they did. But all of a sudden they had started to get much more aggressive about insulting each other, and letting their feud spill all over Meulin's site. She wished she was able to reach through the internet and pap their faces!

Suddenly Meulin gasped, and put her hands over her mouth as a green blush grew over her face. How could she have been so oblivious! Their arguments must have been a result of growing black feelings for each other, and Meulin was suddenly finding herself waxing ashen towards them. She couldn't really imagine Aranea and Latula working out in that quadrant - and she knew Latula had been seeing a hatefriend of her own lately, for that matter. That they were being so public with their caliginous flirting certainly signaled that they were at least subconsciously looking for an auspistice. And since they were doing it so directly in front of Meulin, maybe they were hoping for her anyway! 

Meulin squealed happily, setting her cattop aside and bouncing up from her chair. She'd certainly read about auspisticism in lots of stories, but she'd never been in that role in a relationship of her own. Yes, she would have to ask her friends out on an ashen date. It was such an exciting idea!


	2. Chapter 2

Half an hour later, Meulin paced across her room, occasionally sipping at an iced coffee. After deciding she was going to ask Latula and Aranea out, she had gushed to her best friend about it for a while, then gone down the street to Troll Starbucks to get a drink and mentally prepare herself. Now she was back home, and was deciding exactly what she wanted to say as well as building up the confidence to say it.

Finally, Meulin plopped herself back down on her beanbag chair and opened her computer back up. She took a deep breath - she just had to do this, there wasn't any sense in being nervous about it. And as the auspisticing party, she would be expected to be pretty upfront about initiating the relationship anyway.

Meulin glanced at her friend list on Trollian. Good, both Aranea and Latula were online. After a moment of thought she decided to start with Aranea. 

abyssinianCrossover [AC] began trolling altruisticGrandiloquence [AG]  
AC: (^~o~^) < FURRANEA.  
AC: (^~o~^) < WE N33D TO TALK.  
AG: Well, hello, Meulin! Are you enjoying this 8eautiful day we're having? I'm glad to say that I spent my morning reading some fascin8ing 8ooks in the park. It's a wonderful way to relax.  
AG: And certainly, I'm always up for talking! ::::)  
AC: (^・ω・^) < IT'S ABOUT MEW AND LATULA.  
AC: (^・ｪ・^) < I THINK I S33 WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU TWO.  
AC: (^・x・^) < YOU'RE FALLING INTO THE BLACK QUADRANT WITH HER.  
AC: (^・o・^) < AND YOU N33D SOMEONE TO K33P THAT FROM BECOMING A FULL-FLEDGED HATE SHIP.  
AG: What!!!!!!!! Ewwwwwwww. Why would I want to 8e in that quadrant with someone as gross as her? You just know her h8-flirting would 8e centered around juvenile antics such as passing gas while sitting on her kismesis's pillows, or pouring Troll Mountain Dew down their shirt. I assure you that that anyone who could get me into that quadrant would need to 8e much classier.  
AG: 8esides, isn't she already involved in 8lack romance with someone? You should know, you are the purveyor of all of the 'shipping' gossip around here. And you know I would never 8e so low as to steal someone else's quadrantmate.  
AG: And I must repeat myself: Ewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!  
AC: (=ｘωｘ=) < /ME DIES.  
AC: (= `ω´ =) < LISTEN TO YOURSELF.  
AC: (=ＴωＴ=) < YOU ARE CLEARLY WAXING PITCH FOR HER.  
AC: (= `ω´=)ﾉ < AND I FURVENTLY AGR33, YOU AND SHE WOULD BE TERRIBLE IN THE CALIGINOUS QUADRANT. THAT IS WHY YOU N33D SOMEONE TO MAKE SURE YOU TWO K33P A PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP OF MEWTUAL ANNOYANCE BUT NOTHING D33PER.  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: ........  
AG: Okay, perhaps you have a point. I must say she has 8een getting under my skin just a 8it lately. May8e some ashen assistance could 8e in order to deal with the issue. At the very least it could 8e some pleasant stress relief.  
AG: I don't suppose I'd have any cat-troll friends who are offering to volunteer? :::;)  
AC: (=^ω^=) < YES!!!!! I AM PURRPOSING AN ASHEN DATE. PURRHAPS EVEN TONIGHT IF EFURRYONE IS FR33.  
AC: (=^.^=) < HOW ABOUT WE GET PIZZA AT THAT GREAT PLACE A FEW STR33TS OFUR FURROM YOUR HIVE?  
AG: Oh yes, Land of Doughs and Cheese!  
AG: That would 8e wonderful! I must say I am a fan of artisan pizza restaurants. Especially ones with such high-quality ingredients and as inventive of topping com8inations as they have.  
AG: And I 8elieve that pizza would 8e acceptable to even someone with as simplistic of tastes as Latula.  
AG: How a8out we meet there at eight?  
AG: If she's free, of course. Have you asked her out on our d8 at all yet, by the way?  
AC: (=^..^=) < NOT YET NO.  
AC: ~(=^..^) < LET ME GO AND ASK HER NOW.  
AG: Alright. I will 8e w8ing to hear 8ack. ::::)  
abyssinianCrossover [AC] ceased trolling altruisticGrandiloquence [AG]

Meulin grinned in delight at Aranea's positive response. The first half of her task was done! Emboldened, she moved on to Latula. 

abyssinianCrossover [AC] began trolling gamerChick [GC]  
AC: (=^・ω・^=) < HEY CATULA!!!!!!  
GC: h3333y m3uz!! w4zzup grl?  
AC: (=^ω^=) < I'M ASKING MEW OUT ON A DATE. TONIGHT AT THE LAND OF DOUGHS AND CH33SE AT EIGHT IF YOU CAN MAKE IT.  
GC: uhhh who4.  
GC: th4t w4s 4 b1t un3xpct3d.  
GC: 1m fl4tt3r3d m3uz, but you know 1m s331n p33pz 1n most of th3 qu4dr4nts th3s3 d4ys, r1ght? wh1ch color 4r3 you look1ng for h3r3???  
AC: (=^・ｪ・^=) < ASHEN.  
GC: wh4t. ...don't t3ll m3 you m34n w1th m1ss bl4bb3rmouth sp1d3r.  
AC: (=^ω^=) < YES, I MEAN HER! I THINK YOU TWO N33D A PAWSPISTICE.  
GC: n4h, s1s... 1 just giv3 h3r 4 h4rd t1m3 s1nc3 sh3's l4m3. 4nyw4y you know 1v3 b33n h4t3d4t1ng th4t n3w sk4t3r troll! 1 th1nk th3y'r3 4 gr34t c4tch for 4 k1sm3s1s.  
AC: (=^._.^=) < NO LATULA I CAN S33 IT'S BECOMING A BIT MORE THAN THAT. DO I N33D TO READ YOUR LATEST ARGUMENT WITH HER ON THE FORUMS BACK TO YOU???  
AC: (=^・ω・^=) < AND I THINK YOU AND YOUR NEW HATEFURRIEND ARE A WONDERFUL SHIP!!!! SO I WANT TO HELP K33P YOU TOGETHER! AND THAT ENTAILS K33PING YOUR BLACK F33LINGS FOCUSED ON THEM AND NOT ON ARANEA.  
GC: s111111gh 1 gu3ss you'r3 r1ght. 4r4n34's b33n g3tt1ng on my n3rv3s so much l4t3ly.  
GC: 1 gu3ss 1 could k1nd of s33 th4t m4yb3 1t could turn 4 b1t mor3 h34t3d.  
GC: 4nd 4 l1ttl3 d4t3 1snt 4 b1g d34l 1 gu3ss. 1 could d3f1n1t3ly go for som3 of th4t p1zz4 ton1ght, yum. >8]  
AC: (=^ω^=) < 33333333333333!!!! SO IS THAT A YES???  
GC: y34h 1 gu3ss so. 1m gonn4 b3 out 4t th3 sk4t3 p4rk b3for3h4nd but 1 c4n m4k3 1t 4t 31ght.  
GC: but you b3tt3r not l3t h3r bl4bb3r on too much!!! th4t would b3 so l4m3.  
AC: (^・o・^) < YES LATULA I AM AWARE OF MY RESPAWNSIBILITIES AS AN AUSPISTICE. IT IS FURRY IMPURRTANT TO K33P THE BICKERING PURRTIES FROM DOING WHAT IRRITATES EACH OTHER TOO MUCH! SO I WILL PAP THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF HER MOUTH IF I N33D TO.  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < HOWEFUR THIS GOES FUR YOU AS WELL! I WILL N33D TO PAP YOU IF YOU START GOING ON ABOUT THE LATEST TIER LISTS IN SUPER SMASH TROLLS. EVEN IF YOU THINK THAT BEING PAPPED IS NOT VERY RAD.  
GC: no 1ts h3ll4 unr4d, yo! do you w4nn4 ru1n my r4dgrl r3put4t1on h3r3??? >8'[  
GC: 4nd m4444n but th3 t13r l1sts 4r3 so 1nt3r3st1ng!!! th3y just c4m3 out w1th 4 n3w on3 y3st3rday 4ctu4lly.  
AC: (=^–ω–^=) < S33 YES THAT IS WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T DO. IF YOU WERE HERE I WOULD HAVE TO PAP YOUR FACE TO STOP YOU.  
GC: but wh4t 1f 1 w4s 34t1ng my p1zz4??? you m1ght p4p 1t r1ght out of my mouth 4nd th4t'd b3 4 tr4g3dy.  
AC: (=^..^=) < PURRHAPS YOU SHOULDN'T TALK ABOUT VIDEO GAMES WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL THEN.  
GC: l4m3zors!!!!! though 4h4h4h4h4h 1 b3t 4r4n34 would th1nk th4t w4s so gross, 1td b3 4w3som3.  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < CATULA. CATULA NO.  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE DOING.  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < AND EXACTLY WHY WE N33D TO GO OUT ON THIS DATE.  
GC: 4lr1ght f111n3, 1ll b3 th3r3. 4nyw4y 1 gott4 run for now, s33 y4 m3uz!!!  
gamerChick [GC] ceased trolling abyssinianCrossover [AC]

Meulin leaned back in her beanbag, squealing loudly with excitement. She had done it! The noise she made got the attention of her lusus, and Meulin pulled the large cat up on top of her to embrace it. Meulin laughed as she got a lick across the forehead for her trouble, and then laid back as she thought about what the date would be like.


	3. Chapter 3

"Ugh, she's late. Typical," Aranea muttered under her breath as she stood outside the pizza place. Meulin saw out of the side of her eye that Aranea had said something, and cocked her head towards the girl in curiosity; Aranea repeated her annoyance in sign language. 

"Aww, it's only a couple of minutes! She'll be here soon, I'm furry sure!" Meulin replied, smiling. "And by the way, I like your dress!"

"Why thank you! I've found a store that specializes in spider-themed patterns that I quite like. And Porrim assures me the styles are quite fashionable these days," Aranea said, blushing and fidgeting a bit as she signed to Meulin. She then turned her gaze to something off in the distance, and an annoyed look grew on her face. "Ugh. Really????????" 

Meulin turned to see what Aranea was looking at. A skateboarding troll was coming down the street quite quickly. Meulin waved excitedly as Latula approached. She waved back, and as she got closer Latula swept out to the side. She ollied up onto a nearby bench and ground along the edge, hopping down next to Aranea and catching her skateboard. "Yo, Meuz! And Aranea. Wazzup?" 

"Hi Latula!" Meulin squealed, running over and nearly tackling the girl with a hug. "And not much! I'm just excited for our date!" 

"Yes, hello," Aranea said, not particularly trying to conceal her irritation. "I suppose it would have been too much to expect you to wear anything even the slightest bit nice? Skateboarding and t-shirts are quite probably on the 'no' list for first date etiquette." 

"Nah sis, these graphic tees are like, the most rad thing you can wear these days!" Latula grumbled back, even as she returned Meulin's hug. "How lamezors do you hafta be?" 

"Shoosh!" Meulin couldn't quite tell what Latula had been saying since she wasn't in a position to have Latula sign to her or see her lips, but it was clear her friends were fighting again. So she let go of Latula and stood between them, continuing, "Stop it, you two. Don't make me start papping efurryone already!" 

"Papping? In public and before we've even started our first date? That would be quite a bit forward, don't you think?" Aranea shot Meulin a quizzical look. 

Before Meulin could respond, Latula started snickering. "Hahahah! Don't tell me Serkz here is a prude! Are you also one of those peepz who thinks hand-holding has to wait until the third flush-date?" 

Aranea started to object, but Meulin hissed loudly over whatever she was about to say, and grabbed one of her wrists so she couldn't sign anything inflammatory either. "Okay, enough of this! Let's go and sit down and stop with the fighting!" She grabbed Latula by the wrist as well, and tugged both girls behind her into the restaurant. When she looked over her shoulder she saw that Aranea appeared to be saying something to Latula again, but fortunately an angry glare shut her up. Meulin groaned to herself - maybe she was getting on over her head with this.

Meulin tugged her dates inside and looked around the restaurant. It was fairly crowded, as usual - not that Meulin minded, since the busier and louder it was the less her tendency to yell would bother everyone else. As she looked around, one of the waiters walked over, cheerily saying "Hello! Welcome to the Land of Doughs and Cheese!" Recognizing Meulin, he waved over someone else, who was fluent in Troll Sign Language and usually ended up being Meulin's server.

"Hello again, miss Leijon! And welcome to your friends as well. Is it just the three of you today?" the tall, lanky troll said. After checking the available tables, they waved for Meulin, Latula, and Aranea to follow them. "Right this way, ladies. By the way, do you know what you'll want to drink tonight?" 

Soon enough the three girls were seated, and their server had scurried off to get their drinks. Aranea and Latula sat directly across from each other at the square table, with Meulin on one of the sides between them. Meulin looked over at the other two girls - each was staring down at their menu, conspicuously not paying attention to the other. Meulin rolled her eyes, though she expected this sort of thing was normal for an ashen date. 

"Alright, here's your drinks!" the silence was broken by the waiter returning. "A Troll Mountain Dew for the lady with the cool red sunglasses... A pink lemonade for the fancy spider troll... And a green tea for miss Leijon. I'll let you three look over the menu for a little longer, now." They then scooted away. 

"Aww yeah! I worked up hellz of a thirst out there," Latula grabbed her glass and loudly slurped through her straw. Aranea gently sipped at her own beverage, rolling her eyes and giving a disappointed sigh. Latula picked up on the gesture, and put her now-half-empty glass down. "And what do ya mean with that, Serkz?" 

"What do I mean with what? I didn't say anything!" Aranea said indignantly. 

"Nah don't think I didn't notice your lamezor eye-roll there! Just because you're lazy and boring and sit 'round all day in piles of books doesn't mean that some of us don't get some exercise!" Latula shot back.

"Excuse you, I do go to the gym regularly for my workout regimen," Aranea huffed in response. "And anyway I'm quite certain that if you were serious about exercise you would not be drinking that vile stuff. If you must consume disturbingly fluorescent-colored beverages, I understand that Trollorade is suited for the exact purpose you reference." 

Before Latula could respond, Meulin hissed loudly again. Fortunately the other two girls stopped their bickering and looked towards her, and Meulin breathed a sigh of relief. A sinking feeling had been growing in her stomach that she really wasn't sure what she was supposed to be doing in this role. She'd seen many stories about ashen relationships, of course - but in most of those the fighting trolls were either calmed down by the mere presence of their auspistice, or else the auspistice was so in control that nothing bad happened. Meulin knew that wasn't how things worked in real life, but she wasn't really sure how things _were_ supposed to work, or how aggressive she was supposed to be. Without any better ideas, Meulin decided to just try to shift the conversation to something more innocuous. "So... We had really nice weather today, right? I bet we all spent a lot of fun time outside!" 

"Oh, yes!" Aranea piped up immediately. "I believe I already mentioned to Meulin that I spent the morning reading some books in the park. And after lunch I went back out again, and enjoyed walking along the river bank and pondering some philosophy I had been reading about. It's quite fascinating, really -" 

"Boooooring!" Latula interrupted. "Man what a waste of a fun day outside. I made the best of mine, though! I worked on practicing some hella rad trickz over at the skate park, and played some frisbee with some dudez who were hanging around. Oh man, and I made the raddest catch -"

"Ugh, and you call me boring? No one wants to hear about your sports antics that are only impressive to you. There is simply nothing to say about those except 'Wow, Latula!!!!!!!! You sure did catch that ball or whatever!' Ugh." 

"Hah! Nah sis, lots of peoplez appreciate awesome stuff like that. Oh man, it's so amazing to lay out and make an awesome play and everyone shouts out to cheer -" 

"Doubtful. In any case, I had a very enlightening conversation about current events with a troll I met in the park -"

Meulin hissed yet again, but this time Latula and Aranea paid her no attention and kept on with their arguing. Meulin sat back in her seat, feeling somewhat defeated. How was she supposed to deal with this? These sorts of things never happened in the fanfics she had read - the auspistice always asserted control over the situation. But what was she supposed to do? 

Fortunately, before the argument got too much more heated, their waiter appeared back at the table. "Hello again ladies! I see we'll need a refill of Troll Mountain Dew here, and have you decided on your orders?" Both Aranea and Latula perked up, momentarily forgetting about each other. 

"Aww yeah! I'll have the spicy pepperoni. Yum!" Latula declared, patting her stomach. 

"I'll have the marghfurrita pizza with purrsciutto!" Meulin squealed next.

"And... I'll try the gorgonzola, pear, and arugula pizza, I suppose," Aranea spoke up much more quietly after one last perusal of the menu. "That sounds like quite an interesting combination." 

Their server nodded and shuffled off again. No sooner had they gone than Latula started to jeer Aranea again. "Man, arugula on pizza? Isn't that some sort of lame fancy salad? Don't tell me you're going for some sort of gross diet pizza, who would even do that."

"Excuse you, it includes arugula not because it's an ill-conceived health pizza, but because arugula pairs well with the sauce and cheese and other toppings and makes a delicious, if unorthodox, pizza," Aranea said exasperatedly. "Yet of course you would be boring and unadventurous and simply go with pepperoni, even when we're at the finest pizza place in town which is renowned for its specialty pizzas such as this one." 

"Aww hell naw, pepperonis beat out any other lame toppings! Ya gotta get the best if you're going somewhere nice. Why would you want sucky pizza if it's supposed to be great?" Latula responded indignantly. 

"Ugh, typical," Aranea muttered.

"Okay, I purrpose we not continue talking about this," Meulin spoke up, frustration dripping from her voice. "Arguing about pizzas is purretty much the dumbest thing."

"Yes, well, tell her that," Aranea glared at Latula. "But anyway, hmmmmmmmm. So you haven't told us much about your day yet, Meulin. What have you been up to?"

Meulin sighed in relief, glad to hopefully have a reprieve from all of the arguing. "Well, it's been mostly pawesome! I got a lot of writing done..."


	4. Chapter 4

"So yeah, thatz the new Troll Mario Kart glitch that people've found, it's kinda weird," Latula said, leaning back in her chair as she finished her story. Meulin was following along with interest, but she could see out of the corner of her eye that Aranea was looking more and more annoyed. The date had been going on for a while by now, and Meulin had been able to keep the peace relatively well. It had certainly helped when the food came and everyone got to start eating. But the main way she had done this was to drive the conversation herself, and steer it away from things that would get Latula and Aranea annoyed at each other - and while that worked, it didn't really feel like she was actually doing any auspisticing. But by now she was running out of things to talk about, and both of the other girls had been spending more and more time monologuing about their own thing. Meulin could tell that the tension was building between them, but she wasn't sure what to do to stop it.

"Huh, that's really interesting, Catula!" Meulin said, then turned to Aranea to try to head off her annoyance. "So, have you tried any fun video games lately?" 

"Hah, like Serkz would ever play anything good," Latula jeered. 

Meulin groaned, and quickly cut off Aranea's response by changing the topic again. "So, did you guys catch last night's episode of Purrlock? Oh emm gee, it gave me so many feels!" Meulin leaned in between Aranea and Latula to try to distract them and break up their argument.

"Oh, yes, I had it on in the background while I was doing some light reading. It was quite fascinating," Aranea replied distantly, not taking her eyes off of Latula. "I doubt someone like Latula could appreciate the subtleties of such a mystery series, though."

"Hah, get over yourself," Latula said, leaning forward to smirk at Aranea. "I watched it too and I'm hellz of good at figuring out who's the real criminal way back at the beginning of the episode. I wouldn't call 'em subtleties when they're that obvious, girl. Hah, I bet I'd make a totally rad detective in another life or somethin'!"

"Humph, don't flatter yourself. Real forensic detective work requires an extensive amount of research and knowledge that I am certain you would be too ignorant and probably too stupid to pursue," Aranea replied, trying to hide her rising frustration but evidently failing. 

"Nah, not everything is about your lame-o book knowledge. Ya can't read about how to be clever! Some of us are just born rad like that." Latula leaned back with a grin, and when she finished signing she took a large bite out of one of her slices of pizza followed by a loud slurp of her soda.

"Ugh," Aranea responded with a glare. "And some people seem to be born in need of remedial lessons in table manners." 

"Hah!" Latula just laughed. She paused for a moment to let out a loud belch, which only led to her laughing more. 

"Absolutely disgusting," Aranea huffed, pushing one of the remaining slices of pizza around on her plate. "I might have just lost my appetite."

Latula was about to give her retort when she was cut off by Meulin, who was trying to talk under her breath but was still nearly yelling. "No! Bad! The whole point of this is for you not to be hate-flirting! And furrankly you both seem like pathetic wigglers here. Even if I thought pawsibly you two could have been a good ship, by now you'd be my no-tee-pee!"

"What?" Aranea huffed. "No no no no no no no no, I assure you that I am not hate-flirting. It's simply that _some_ trolls around here are so infuriatingly juvenile, and so belligerent when it comes to simple suggestions for improvement of their obnoxious behavior..." 

"Hah! Wow, Aranea has a huuuuuuuge pitch-crush on me! I mean I knew she wanted me in that quadrant a bit, but I didn't know how much... But yanno, I guess I am just that hot that the babez throw themselves at me in every quadrant," Latula gloated, following it up with an exaggerated kissy-face to tease Aranea.

"What!!!!!!!! You... you... you pathetic..." Aranea growled and leaned forward on the table, but was unable to come up with anything to complete her sentence. She had started to blush a deep cerulean color as she realized that she couldn't really deny her black feelings to herself anymore, much less to her dates. After gathering her thoughts for a moment, she started to switch tracks. "Well, maybe I do! But don't act all innocent in this, missy. It's painfully obvious that you're the instigator here, perhaps because of your jealousy towards my writing ability and the universal acclaim my fanfics garner. In fact -" Aranea had just closed her eyes to start into another diatribe when she was interrupted by a cold wet object hitting her arm. She glared over to see Latula grab another ice cube out of her glass and flick it across the table, this one hitting Aranea's neck and sliding down into her dress. Aranea scrambled to fish out the piece of ice and brush off all of the water. "Why I ought to -"

"STOP! STOP IT YOU TWO!" Meulin screamed, leaping up so she was kneeling on the table. She reached out her arms to either side, and papped both Latula and Aranea on the cheek. The gesture of conciliatory affection seemed to take both of them by surprise, and at least momentarily shut them up. Meulin continued, "Just efurryone calm down here! It's painfully pawbvious that you both have furry furry deep black feelings fur each other. And the purrpose of this date is to have less of those, not more!" 

"Ummmmmmmm, well, I suppose you're probably correct," Aranea mumbled, looking down in embarrassment. She couldn't bring herself to glance around and see how much attention has been attracted by the outburst of caliginous emotions at their table. "But... she's just so infuriating!"

"Shoosh. Shoooooooosh," Meulin slipped down off the table and stood next to Aranea, putting her arm around the girl's back and gently papping her a few more times. "It will be okay, Purranea! That's what I'm here to help with." She tried to sound confident, but Meulin wasn't quite sure if she was ready for what she had gotten herself into. She could only go by what she'd seen and read - the whole show of jumping up on the table to calm down one's ashen quadrantmates was something that had happened in one of her favorite fanfics, for that matter. Meulin had imagined herself in that position plenty of times, but she had always considered it an unrealistic fantasy. Yet here she was, and with her ashen feelings it felt surprisingly natural. 

"Maaan what about me?" Latula piped up, waving her hands to get Meulin's attention before she continued talking and signing. "I mean, even someone as hella awesome as me needs some help with someone _that_ much of a lame-o without driving myself crazy..." 

"Shoosh! Shoosh as radly as pawsible," Meulin quickly slid over to Latula, hugging the girl with one arm and papping her with the other. "I'm going to help both of you! And we'll do efurrything we can to keep small disagreements from purrovoking black feelings." 

"Well, alright," Aranea said, evidently much calmer. "I must say, I was a bit skeptical about this auspisticism at first, but that papping certainly was... something. Even if it was in public," Aranea said, still blushing a bit from embarrassment but with a satisfied smile. "In any case, I could perhaps see myself growing into an ashen bond with you, Meulin. Or perhaps I should say 'purrhaps'." 

"Ugh, laaaaame," Latula rolled her eyes and leaned her head over the back of her chair. "Y'know I might be able to get into that quadrant with Meuz here but I don't think I could stand havin' Serket over here stealing your puns and acting like public paps are scandalous." 

"Ugh is right," Aranea's voice turned to sarcasm. "It's absolutely appalling of me to have any shred of decency about intimate conciliatory moments, of course. And I'm sure it's much too embarrassing for you to be around anyone who would dare enjoy the timeless romantic tradition of adopting your partner's verbal or textual quirks. Such things are -" Aranea once again found herself cut off, this time by Meulin squeezing her hand tightly. Aranea looked over sheepishly as Meulin glared. She paused for a moment to collect herself before sighing, intertwining her fingers with Meulin's, and turning back to Latula. "Well, I suppose I can attempt to tolerate your differing opinions of what sort of romantic activities are enjoyable." 

"Yes, purrfect!" Meulin squealed, continuing to hold Aranea's hand. She slid her free hand over to grab Latula's as well, and turned to face the girl expectantly. "Well, Catula? Do you have something to say, pawsibly?" 

Latula gave a defeated sigh, but squeezed Meulin's hand in return. "Yeah alright, I guess I can put up with spidergirl's lame romance stuff. If you really want me to, Meu." 

"Yes, that would be of utmost impurrtance!" Meulin said with a smile. She pulled both arms off of the tablecloth, but continued to hold both of her new quadrantmates' hands under the table. "Just take a deep breath! And don't let these things purrompt black feelings. Think about how much you hate your actual kismesis instead!" 

"Yeah, okay. I deff-o have a hella good rivalry with them," Latula said with a smirk. She closed her eyes and leaned back, calming herself for a moment, before picking up her slice of pizza and munching at it again.

"Yes, I suppose it is best we go back to eating," Aranea also returned to her pizza. Meulin held both of their hands for a moment longer, looking back and forth at her two dates. Satisfied that her conciliatory actions had calmed both of them down for the time being, she let go of their hands and returned to her own food.

"So! Have you girls read any good fanfics recently on the site that I should check out?" Meulin asked cheerily, after chomping down another slice of her pizza. She figured it was still better if she directed the conversation, but now she was pretty sure she would be able to mediate between her friends if they started sniping at each other again.


	5. Chapter 5

"Mmm, I must say, I can always go for some good mint chocolate chip," Aranea said, licking at her ice-cream cone. After their pizza date, the three girls had gone to a nearby ice-cream shop for dessert, and had wandered over to a seat in the nearby plaza to eat. Meulin sat in the middle, of course, squeezed between her two auspisticees on the somewhat-narrow bench. 

"I'm sure it's furry good!" Meulin replied happily, as she dug her spoon into her scoops. "But the coconut sorbet furrom this place is pawsitively divine!" 

"Sorry babez, but ya can't beat an old-fashioned sundae," Latula piped up from her side, as she shoved a heaping scoop of ice cream, hot fudge, and sprinkles into her mouth. After finishing it, she looked over at her dates' treats. "Though I wouldn't mind trying that coconut. Wanna trade a bit?" she said, moving her spoon towards Meulin's cup.

"Go fur it!" Meulin giggled, reaching over to take a spoonful of Latula's sundae. Latula leaned in and did the same for Meulin's sorbet. Instead of bringing her spoon back up, Latula brought her head down and lay it on Meulin's shoulder before tasting the sorbet. Meulin squealed with delight and let herself sink back against the bench as Latula got herself into a comfortable cuddling position. 

"Aww yeah. A radgirl's gotta get her snuggling on," Latula said, seeming quite satisfied as she nuzzled her head against Meulin's neck. Once she got comfortable, she returned to eating her sundae. Meulin did the same, but couldn't help having a beaming grin. 

"Hmph. I guess I'm left out of this snuggle party?" Aranea said with a pout, looking up from her ice cream cone.

"Of course not! I have two shoulders, silly!" Meulin certainly wanted to shut down whatever sort of argument Aranea seemed poised to start, and if she could get more cuddles out of it then all of the better. She wrapped her free arm around Aranea's back and tugged the girl's body closer to her.

"Hmph, well, why not..." Aranea slid herself lower, leaning her back against Meulin's side, with her head resting against Meulin's shoulder. Meulin purred happily and wrapped her arm around the front of Aranea's body. The three of them shifted a bit more to get comfortable, then relaxed together quietly, continuing to eat their ice cream.

"Ahhh... This is hella nice, actually," Latula broke the silence after a while. "Anyone else wanna have a feelings jam in the ice-cream pile?" she added with a laugh.

"Ugh, are you still saying these things to annoy me?" Aranea groaned in response. Meulin glared down at her, but didn't take any more drastic action since Aranea didn't seem to be growing angry. "Feelings jams may be nice, but I would say that's a third-date activity at the earliest. And certainly not in public!" After noticing Meulin's displeased stare, she shifted to a bit more of a lighthearted objection. "Anyway, a pile of ice cream sounds quite cold and messy and generally infeasible. Surely we can find a more suitable pile when the time is right?" 

"Hellz yeah! I have just the dragonpile back in my hive. It's all set up for hardcore gaming but feelings jams would work too!" Latula responded, seeming enthusiastic about the idea. 

"Ugh, again. Well, a pile of plush dragons would be nice, but I'm quite certain you haven't washed them recently, have you? I bet your pile is as much dorito crumbs as it is plushies at this point." Aranea sighed. "For the record, I still think it is somewhat uncouth to discuss something as intimate as piles for feeling jams at this stage of the relationship, but I could provide a pile of large spider plushies which I can guarantee are clean." 

"Yes, good," Meulin said hurriedly, making sure to stop this discussion before it descended into an argument. "We can purrhaps have hypothetical future feelings jams in a half-dragon, half-spider pile, divided down the middle. But fur now, I purrpose we stop arguing and just enjoy the ice cream and snuggles!" 

"Yes, that sounds quite alright," Aranea said with a contented sigh, nestling herself up a bit closer to Meulin and returning to licking her ice cream.


	6. Epilogue

The next day, after a morning out and about, Meulin bounded back into her room. Just like the day before, she plopped down on her beanbag and pulled out her Cattop to check the latest happenings on her fanfic site. 

Meulin scrolled quickly through her latest notifications - there were a few messages from moderators about things she needed to take care of, and a few new fics posted by some of her friends that she bookmarked to read later. Finally, she came upon what she had been most nervous about seeing.

altruisticGrandiloquence commented on chapter 42 of _Th3 L3g3nd of Z3ld4: 4 R4dgrl's Qu3st_ by  gamerChick:  
Hmmmmmmmm. Upon reconsideration, I must concede that your story is not nearly as 8ad as I had previously indicated. For instance, your plot progression has 8een quite decent, and your 8attle descriptions are quite detailed. 8ut it still leaves much to 8e desired, especially on a character-8uilding level. I would recommend writing more a8out your characters inner desires and fears, and the internal conflicts that drive them. I would 8e happy to provide some advice on the su8ject.

gamerChick replied to the comment by altruisticGrandiloquence:  
h3h y34h m4yb3 th4t would b3 4 good 1d34! 1 know, 1 could wr1t3 4bout troll z3ld4 b31ng d1str4ught ov3r w4nt1ng to b3 th3 r4dd3st sk4t3rgrl 3v3r but know1ng th4t wouldn't b3 4cc3pt4bl3 for 4 fuchsc14blood l1k3 h3r. oh m4n th1s w1ll b3 4w3som3!!!! >8]

altruisticGrandiloquence replied to the comment by gamerChick:  
........ That really wasn't what I meant. ::::|

Meulin giggled a little. One calm interaction between Aranea and Latula didn't necessarily mean a lot, of course, but it was a good start. She'd have to chat with both of them later to make sure no trouble was brewing and to try to keep things on the right track - to be an effective auspistice she knew she needed to be proactive, especially at the beginning of the relationship. With an excited squeal, Meulin started to ponder what they might do for a second date. There were so many pawsibilities!


End file.
